1. |
Blonde and Blue
02:47
|
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pink and blue
cotton candy skies
the sun going down
on the trailer park
thinking of you
home in your room
blonde and blue
reappearing
reappearing
thinking of you
home in your room
wanting to run
my thumb down the edges of
letters from you
in the county jail
thinking of you
home in your room
blonde and blue
reappearing
reappearing
thinking of you
home in your room
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2. |
Goner
04:17
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none of this seems real
the body the
endless division within
tears to snow
blood to earth
the pure the impermanent
running in my dreams
reliving
the same moments over again
and it feels like everyone’s a goner tonight
and it feels like all that’s lost ain’t coming back again
and it feels like everyone’s a goner tonight
and it feels like all that’s lost ain’t coming back again
television teens
reflections
the unbending river of light
playing on the screen
devotion
the unending chorus of love
Jonathan Brandis
where are you
are you still lost at sea
is it all just memories
projections
is it even worth watching at all
and it feels like everyone’s a goner tonight
and it feels like all that’s lost ain’t coming back again
and it feels like everyone’s a goner tonight
and it feels like all that’s lost ain’t coming back again
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3. |
Mothers and Sisters
04:50
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1990s Florida summers
spinning laundry quarters and keys
meeting the laughing sun in the window
the woman’s eyes are as wide as the sea
haircuts on linoleum tile
garbage bags from the church filled with jeans
family of five two bedroom apartment
the woman’s world comes apart at the seams
mothers and sisters teach me to be
as emotionally intelligent as thee
I can still see you stand
muscular and sweet
cracks in your hands
reaching out for me
you were a light
of the strangest color
but so bright in love
more than anyone
Wednesday Sunday nights driving home
a choir of dashboard lights sing her face
the pavement is a mirror a river
the artery we’ve been blood for these days
1990s Florida summers
speaking in tongues while the radio plays
I can still see you stand
muscular and sweet
cracks in your hands
reaching out for me
you were a light
of the strangest color
but so bright in love
more than anyone
mothers and sisters teach me to be
as emotionally intelligent as thee
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4. |
||||
you appeared a
harbor in the
cruelest ocean
out of nowhere
Emily I
will be in
debt to you
Emily I
will be in
debt to you
all forgiveness
and devotion
angel in gray
angel in gray
Emily I
will be in
debt to you
Emily I
will be in
debt to you
forever
|
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5. |
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disintegration
life folds in at
the corners and forgets us
grind it into dust
modern men
children of industry
burn it to the ground
nothing’s real
it’s just a feeling in suspension
raging winds of youth
breath of life
tear all the sutures through
something in the bones or in the synapses
agent of a veiled self-immolation
wild gone days
time erased
arrow in the beast
you were sharpened
you were loved and then released
broken empty shell
book of tears
myth of eternity
memory will decay
libraries of
all the beauty and the heartache
disintegration
give and take
bring us impermanence
something in the bones or in the synapses
agent of a veiled self-immolation
wild gone days
time erased
erased dissolved in fall’s unholy light
|
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6. |
Dominoes
04:21
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in the air
in the bedding of earth
in the flesh of space
love is there
forming sinews in time
to find one for one
gravity
make a system of me
send a satellite
constellation
of error and chance
where is our romance
you’re a ghost
you’re a pattern in sand
you’re a whispered prayer
you’re a dream
you’re a deer in the woods
under paper skies
where were you
in the patterns I knew
to be faithful to
dominoes
in their delicate rows
have led me to you
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7. |
Castle
05:39
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Jackie took his
pageant queen to Europe
‘76
first apartment devotion
he went singing
she went sewing left all alone
transatlantic
love stripped of all romantic contraband
(oooohs)
weekend visits
afford little contact
miles between
heartache unseen the quiet
keeping track of
stolen moments his bride
stitching linens
feels the wearer inside
|
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8. |
Death in Three Colors
02:56
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pouring the hands into perfect new gloves
breathing clouds of pure white poison embers
slow and languid industrial death in
quiet resignation where are those days
pouring the hours into measuring cups
God waits under the light holding a mask
callow architect of cities of dust
afterward the dustbin where are those nights
|
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9. |
Heaven is Real
03:58
|
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I’ve been caught in a restless wandering thought
love and faith separate
prodigy
in the art of self-defeat
I begin
splintering
ritual of denial and retreat
I was not better off in the end
you must forgive me I’m asking you
I have no way of telling you
I know it now
Heaven is real
Heaven is real
I forget the original design
everything’s lost in time
in the redrawn corners of my mind
you are there in the air
I forget all the reasons why I left
I was not better off in the end
you must forgive me I’m asking you
I have no way of telling you
I know it now
Heaven is real
Heaven is real
|
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10. |
Nite Terrors
04:32
|
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body empty floor below
body fades and mind is shadows
boy is still the bedroom glows
half awake his eyes are swimming
at the foot a stranger sits
crooked neck the beast is smiling
teeth a glimmer in the dark
he is black and they are shining
between asleep and awake
he trembles and he shakes
in the watchful gaze of
their eyes below and above
yellow ghost in mother’s clothes
shoulders held up by a string
points a finger at the boy
never looks and walks away
between asleep and awake
he trembles and he shakes
in the watchful gaze of
their eyes below and above
the waiting is the hardest part
in waking from a dream repeating
and so lost its ending keeps
and so lost it keeps repeating
the waiting is the hardest part
in waking from a dream repeating
and so lost its ending keeps
and so lost it keeps repeating
and so lost its ending keeps
and so lost it keeps repeating
and so lost its ending keeps
and so
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11. |
Razor Through the Shell
04:40
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I wanna be your Ricky Fitts
I wanna make you a non-believer
blow out the candle of your youth at last
there is a moon in your mother’s eyes
reflecting light from a bright beginning
but paling in the wake of troubled days
I wanna run a razor through the shell
the chrysalis of a life imagined
as wingless in the corner of a room
they drove a needle through his breathless lips
they stitched them shut but I can still hear his voice
in moments when all time is ground to dust
in an alternative stream of time
he’s still alive I was only dreaming
and everything I wanted to say was said
you can’t forgive her
you won’t forgive yourself
look at each other
three broken golden bells
put away all of
her ancient childhood spells
reach out and touch her
it’s not a dream you know
she won’t always be there
only forgiveness
only forgiveness
only forgiveness
tonight
out of the dark
the light
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